Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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