I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
