so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
