But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
