So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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