There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
