Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
