In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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