I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
