I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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