I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
