I wish i was in the wii world.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
