Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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