i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
