u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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