I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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