is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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