I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
