Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
