Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
