yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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