I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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