Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
