I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
