My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This baby is an asshole
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
