I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
