a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
