I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
