pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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