Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
