No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
