Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will be naked everywhere
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
