She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
