Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
be right there i have to get my cape
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
