yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
