so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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