Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
