it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
