I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
