I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
