Why are handjobs necessary in class?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
tonight lets celebrate not being married
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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