yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
