so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
