Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
