i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
