ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
