Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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