I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
