I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
