you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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