Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
