Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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